Let’s catch up…

Bonjour, it’s been a while!  I’ve been making myself feel guilty for not writing lately, because I don’t want this to become yet another forgotten hobby.  In truth I think this blog has helped me a great deal during my transition to (gasp) Floridian.  No, I joke.  I’ll never be a Floridian.  But I do have to accept being here, for now.  Here’s a bit about what I’ve been up to…

The last I wrote, I was stoked about a trip to NYC.  A weekend getaway for some girl time with my good buddy, and boy did it deliver.  Despite some difficult, panicky moments about being away from my little (gimme a break, it was my first time away, ok?), I delivered on my goals to eat delicious food, walk around the city, and experience parts of the city that are less-frequented by tourists.  While my husband and I did the full tourist experience two years ago – including all the top museums, memorials, and even a horse-drawn carriage ride through Central Park (his surprise to me, which while super cheesy was adorably sweet and fun) – Jenny and I hiked on foot to the West Village, SoHo, the Financial district, and walked along the High Line.  We ate true New York brunch in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant, ate amazing Italian food in an Italian indoor market, sipped cocktails on a rooftop bar, and I sampled macarons at Laduree and the Gansevoort Market.  I also bargain shopped at the fabulous Century 21 department store and scored some fabulous Tory Burch sunglasses.  It was divine.  But boy was I ready to get home to my little family!

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Before that, it was evident that I was having a difficult time.  I think my anxiety was coming to a head and I was finally, truly mourning the life we left behind in Washington.  Look, I’m never going to love it here.  It’s not my paradise.  I crave cities, culture, food, and the ability to be outside in the summer without melting into the humidity or getting eaten alive by bugs.  I just do.  But, I must accept my circumstances, and they don’t have to be all bad.

I’ve found some harmony with my choice f staying home with Claire.  We’ve discovered a plethora of activities to do on an almost-daily basis, and I’m even developing some mom friends that have nothing to do with being military wives (score!).  We’re not bff’s, but we have been getting together almost weekly despite Kindermusik classes being over for the summer, and I am developing some good friendships that I cultivated on my own, which is so important to me in this military lifestyle.

And most importantly, I made the leap to talk with a therapist about my anxiety.  And, I can’t articulate the ways in which it’s helped, but I know it’s helping.  I’ve been feeling lighter in my thoughts most days, and more accepting of my life right now.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all better or happily ever after, but it’s helping, and I can sense that.  So, I am grateful for that.

I even managed to dip into my professional pursuits lately.  A few months ago I volunteered to teach some French language classes at the county library, and they accepted.  But I had to wait several months to begin, so I kind of forgot about it for a while.  Of course that means the date snuck up on me, and before I knew it I had to plan a lesson for true novices.  Long story short, I found myself way more excited than nervous about doing this, and on Monday night when I showed up to a room full of sixty people, I was blown away by the enthusiasm and excitement of all of the “students.” It was so much fun, I barely slept that night from the adrenaline of it all.  The best part is that I had several inquiries about private lessons, and so far two of them have come to fruition.  I’m hopeful this is that little extra something I’ve been craving, to make me feel like an intelligent, educated woman again, as well as a devoted mom.  On verra, I guess.

So, onward!  I am looking forward to a four-day weekend with my family in which I want to experiment in the kitchen and make some yummy treats for us, as well as some day excursions to nearby towns (translation: shopping).  And in less than a month we will be going home for a two-week visit and I am getting more and more excited, mostly due to the free childcare that awaits us.

 

Don’t fear your dreams; they’re worth waiting for

You guys… I’m sitting in a salon with my hair painted various colors, all of which I’m hoping are the opposite of the end result. And I’m waiting and staring at the walls. So I thought I’d do some writing instead.

I’ve been thinking… I’ve never shared why my blog is called Café Geneviève, or why I am the Francophile I claim myself to be.


Well, it all started in high school. I was accidentally assigned to a French class as a freshman and decided to give it a whirl. Long story short, I fell in love with language, and discovered I had quite a talent for learning language. Fast forward to the summer of my junior year when my class took a 10 day trip to France, and I fell deeper in love with this glamorous, sophisticated culture that praised beauty, art and delicious food. Who can’t get on board with that??

In college I continued on with French, testing into senior-level advanced courses as a freshman. After a bad breakup, I decided I needed to “see the world” and applied for my university’s study abroad program. By the next fall I found myself having a panic attack in a hotel room in Paris with my best friend. We were all alone, jet lagged, and I had five months of living with a French host family looming ahead of me. What had I done to myself?! Though I yearn for adventure and travel, I am also a creature of comfort and resistant to change. I’m quite a conundrum, aren’t I?

The next five months were filled with frustration, frequent episodes of being lost in translation, adventure, so much travel, self-learning, overcoming fears, growing in confidence and a mastery of a language I was deeply in love with. As I sat in my host mother’s kitchen on my last day in Nantes, having a full conversation with her entirely in French, she pointed out just how far I had come. Wonderfully, miraculously, full circle.

To this day, though my life has been full of many other hurdles, arguably as challenging as this, it is the greatest personal accomplishment of my life. My own fears and lack of confidence almost got in my way of achieving an experience I wanted even more than how heavily my self doubt weighed on me. I overcame a great fear and I believe it made me into the woman I am today.

So, two years of graduate school later, I am armed with a teaching certificate I haven’t been able to use as intended. Being a military spouse hasn’t exactly landed me in areas of high demand for French language teachers. A variety of experiences in teaching has taught me, however, that my desire to indulge my passions will be better accomplished in other ways.

When my family is settled in one place, I have big plans. Until then, my dreams are under construction. I am learning and developing my goals so that I will be ready to hit the ground running with my business. It is often that I feel frustrated by my limitations of our nomadic lifestyle lately, but my husband recently pointed out that I have the gift of time to hone my plan and to learn as much as I can so that I will be successful when my time does come.

And I think the first step was reminding myself through this medium of who I am, what I’ve already accomplished and where I want it to take me.

Do you have dreams you may have had to put on hold at first? How do you keep the passion burning?

One things for sure, I’ll have a fabulous hairstyle when my time does come.